You Sit On A Throne Of Lies, Postman!

"Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire" (arch-duke-maxyenko) 01/15/2015 at 19:32 • Filed to: firstworld problems

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This here is some got damn bullshitery. It's a coffee mug you could have put it in the mailbox or left it inside the enclosed porch just like everyone else. But no, your lying ass didn't even try to deliver it, you just pulled this excuse out of it. This is not the first time you've done this shit either. I'm on to you, Postman!

Firewrx234 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/15/2015 at 19:36

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I'd report them! Get him straightened out!

Scary__goongala! > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/15/2015 at 19:36

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60% of the time, it works every time.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Firewrx234 01/15/2015 at 19:39

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We've complained about it the first time he shirked his duties.

jkm7680 > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/15/2015 at 19:41

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I managed to secure an updated delivery transcript, Which contains the truth.

In fact, There was a "Secure Location," and the package was technically on the truck. But it was in a bit of an.....Awkward to say the least location.

JustWaitingForAMate > jkm7680 01/15/2015 at 19:46

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Yes emergency? I'm afraid it's stuck.

!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

Don't worry, we'll get it out.

Gizmo - The Only Good Gremlin, but don't feed me after Midnight > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/15/2015 at 22:27

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I've had this problem myself, be warned, you may cost someone their job. It really all depends on your Postmaster. I had no problem with it because the first time I assumed the doorbell didn't work so the postman put a notice in my box to come to the post office to pick up my package. The second time, I just missed him at my door, but I was able to catch him as he was climbing into his truck to go home, gave him the slip, but he didn't have the package and guess what, he couldn't find it in the truck. I reported him the next day when I had to go to the post office to get my package. Three weeks later was the third time and I met him at my door, he has already presorted the mail, handed me mine and I stopped him before he could get off my porch, "Why is there a non delivery slip in with my other mail... aren't you supposed to bring the package to my home... Isn't this notice considered mail fraud because it says you tried to deliver my package, but you really didn't?" I immediately called the Postmaster who found my package sitting on the shelf, their system showed that day as the first attempt to deliver, yet that postman hadn't yet returned from his route proving he never took it out of the post office. Longer story short, he hadn't delivered a package to anyone on his route fora long time and was fired. No pension, no severance, no unemployment, gone! And good riddance.

My new post lady talks on her cellphone the whole time she's walking the neighborhood, which concerns me for her safety, but I haven't had to go get a package yet. She even loaded and brought my set of racing wheels to my door (she did check to make sure I was home before bringing them to the door.) I will admit, I warned her they were coming and we had a good laugh about me making a video of her trying to carry them up my steps two at a time.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Gizmo - The Only Good Gremlin, but don't feed me after Midnight 01/15/2015 at 22:31

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The guy we have made no attempt to see if anyone was home, and he's done this before. I'm only going to report his ass if I don't get it tomorrow. Because if you have a job, do your damn job.

Gizmo - The Only Good Gremlin, but don't feed me after Midnight > Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire 01/16/2015 at 00:18

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You won't get it tomorrow, sorry. In the good old days, USPS was like UPS is still - they try three time to make delivery, then you have to come to them. Nowadays my postmaster confirmed USPS will make ONE attempt and that's it; no further action on their part; and if you don't go get it yourself in 7 days its gone (supposedly returned to sender).

USPS ain't what it used to be.

Arch Duke Maxyenko, Shit Talk Extraordinaire > Gizmo - The Only Good Gremlin, but don't feed me after Midnight 01/16/2015 at 06:53

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Fortunately the mail is delivered before I get home and the post office is a few blocks away. So if I don't get delivery confirmation I'm stopping by. The last time he pulled that excuse, he delivered it the next day, so he still has a chance.